Just livin

I’ve been making a concerted effort to get us out of the house more. I think the amazing sun and warmth on Easter weekend has woken up my inner spring and I just want to be out!

The weather hasn’t been terribly cooperative, so we’ve had some kitchen adventures as well. I attempted some “kettle corn.” It needed to bake longer, but it was delicious (and I didn’t mind the gooey ness 😀 )

I popped some popcorn in the air popper and warmed up some honey and canola oil on the stove. Then I drizzled the yummyness on the popcorn, sprinkled some salt, and baked it at 350.

I also “invented” a dinner tonight.

I took some leftover brown rice, a can of salmon, flax meal, water, garlic powder, onion powder, paprika, lemon juice, and baked these along with the beets that were already cooking. Yum.

PS-plain yogurt makes a great dip for the salmon and the beets! And the beets make cool swirls in the yogurt 🙂

Topped it off with an evening stroll.

Lovely.

29

Turning 29 a few weeks ago has really done a number on my brain.

I’ve always aimed at being someone who didn’t put too much stock in age. People are people and they’re all at different places in their spiritual, emotional, and mental development. In spite of that, looking at this as being my last year in my 20’s has gotten me rattled for some reason.

I think it’s a big ol helping of cognitive dissonance. I’ve been on this earth for almost 30 years and what impacts have I had? Now, granted, that’s overly dramatic, I know I’ve had an impact in the lives of those I care about, and I definitely know I’ve made some good choices whenever I look at this face:

But I keep thinking I could do so much more!

Part of me feels like I should just sell all my belongings and work with those in need. Another part of me feels that in this global world we live in, that’s not really an option and would actually create a barrier to working with people. Part of me feels like that’s just an excuse because it would be hard.

It’s so tricky to figure out where that line is. What is just an excuse and what is a legitimate point? Where is the balance? I’m seeking out empowerment vs enabling apathy.

And I also keep coming back to what on earth do I want to do for my career? Should I stick with being a therapist? Move on to coaching? Jump away from all of it and do something completely different?

I don’t have any answers at the moment, but I’ve been having some good times while all those thoughts are swirling around in my head (hopefully they’ll run into each other in there and morph into some fantastic answers!).

What stickers do during naptime

Go sprouts go!

Play doh nails

Finger painting!

Springtime!

Owl friend.

Anywho, I’m unlikely to solve any mysteries tonight, so, have a lovely night 🙂

❤

Creating a soulful year, week 9: creating reminders

This week I intended to create some places throughout the house as sort of focus points to remind me of my spiritual views. I find that having physical reminders around can be a pretty effective way to remind and ground.

I was annoyed at myself for not actually making this happen, but, though the reminders weren’t created, many were found:

I guess the reminders are always there, I just have to remember to look around (as well as within).

I still intend to create some physical reminders, but, in the meantime, I think it’s more important for me to grow in awareness of the spirit in and around us. I need to stop trying to force it and allow myself to be mindful and present and appreciate the life I have the privilege to live.

🙂

Creating a soulful year: week 5 – living in the present

I feel like the first few weeks of this year are to clear out and lay down a foundation for what is to come (at least that’s my hope!)

Last week my focus was on being more active and less procrastinate-y.  I’m happy to say that, while of course there are still many things on “the list,” I feel a renewed energy from the progress that’s happened.

The “monstrosity” continues to morph into quite the cozy little creative nook:

Here’s the before (perhaps someday I’ll get all fancy and do some sort of Pinterest-esque picture deal with words on the photos and them all spliced together…today’s not that day 😀 ):

And here’s it’s current state:

Notice kiddo hanging out in the background 🙂 she loves squishing herself into small places, cracks me up.  Anywho, even my partner is coming around and no longer hating on it.  Woot!

I’m actually sitting in here right now (though, I think I’m going to need to figure out how to up the comfy factor because my back is not currently the biggest fan).

Anyways, the momentum of getting stuff done is great, and, as with the other weeks, I’ll take what I’ve learned and continue on with it.

In all this doing, and project making, and planning, I’ve noticed that I’ve been spending far too much time living in the future.  While I think goals are necessary, I feel strongly about being present in one’s life.

So, for week five, my focus is living more in the now, and less down the road.  This is something that I already practice, but, it’s so easy to forget and to get wrapped up in what’s next.

I noticed a few weeks ago I was always rushing, which is odd, because a  lot of the things I was rushing to didn’t have a set time to them, I was just so focused on what was to come that I was forgetting where I was.

That realization and that shift has created a huge reduction in my stress level.  I feel like I’m savoring more than I was.  I want to concretize… wait, is that really not a word?  I got the red squiggle of non-existance!  That should so be a word…I want to solidify this learning and increase it.

And really, I want to set a good example for Kaja.  If I just talk about the importance of living in the now, but in action am focused on the future, she’s going to pick up on that.  She’s a smart cookie.

So here’s to the present!  How do you live it in your world?

Hugs.

Plugging away

Rudie was cleared to start rehabilitation today! Woot! AND I got to show off my “bad ass” mamma muscles (e.g. kiddo strapped to my back in her carrier, diaper bag slung around my neck, all while holding up Rudie’s back harness so that she could walk with her front feet).

Oh snap.

Anywho, tomorrow I’m going to rig a rope up to her back harness and attempt a walk. It will be nice to start having morning walks with her and Kaja again 🙂

On other fronts, I made an exciting garage sale find that my husband fondly calls: “the monstrosity.” I’m so excited! It’s an old wooden armoire that I want to transform into a crafty office nook 😀 I saw a post on Pinterest ages ago with a transformed armoire and thought it was such a great idea. Sanding and priming will commence soon, and then it will be time to bust out the acrylics!!! I will share the process in whole when it’s completed. Did I mention I’m so excited! 😀

And Kaja is still her sunshine filled self. She has taken to dramatic laughter lately, and it is freaking hilarious. She seems to ingest an extra helping of crazysauce right before she gets tired and then just starts walking in circles in between randomly getting in down dog pose or throwing herself on the ground and squealing. She also finds it really funny to try and feed people lately, or throw handfuls of beans down their shirts…

Even though days have been crazy busy lately, I’ve been trying hard to make space for creativity, and I’ve been spending a lot of time contemplating and playing outside (since out house is imitating a toaster). I don’t know how the rest of the county has been dealing with the heat. We only get like 2 days a year where it goes over ninety and I turn into a a big ol melty puddle of oh-dear-god-it’s-so-hot-in-here-ness (that’s a word right?).

I’m a lucky gal.

❤

when life rains on your happy dance

I am a pretty determined optimist, but every once in a while, the realities of life that I like to avoid expending my energy on rear their ugly heads.

Blech, money. One of those necessary to deal with parts of life. Focusing on it feels so discordant, but it has to happen.

I always feel so guilty when it comes to money. Why should I be feeling stressed that things are tight when there are people who don’t have near the comforts that I enjoy? But that eternal swim against the tide of debt, working to stay afloat, but never feeling like progress is happening is frustrating and discouraging.

I know I put myself in this position. I chose to go to a private college, and, regardless of scholarships and what not, we still shell out over 500 a month towards student loans. I appreciate all my education gave me and that I had the opportunity to even have an education, but, at this point, I’m kicking myself for not going a less expensive route.

I tend to avoid regret in that I wouldn’t necessarily be who I am today had I made different choices…but it would have been nice if my younger self would have chosen a state school 🙂

Anyways, I may start looking for some work that I can do in the evenings from home to help shore things up a little bit. Hopefully I won’t have to dive back into working in social service land. To be honest, the thought of that brings me to tears. Mostly because it would involve not being able to spend as much time with my daughter, but also because of how stressful and energy sucking that world can be.

I spoke with a friend from work the other day and the exact same issues are happening a year later that were occurring when I was there. A year later and nothing has changed! That’s crazy to me. It is very troubling that so many people are overworked, underpaid, and burned out. Our values as a society are very out of whack when people are punished for having boundaries between work life and home life; that should be celebrated! Ugh, there are many roads I could take on this tangent, but none are pleasant, so I’ll move on :p

I have loved being an almost full time stay at home mom, so hopefully I can figure out how to make it work. I am an incredibly fortunate person to have had the opportunities I have had and to be able to spend so much time with my amazing daughter. I’m going to try and keep on dancing through this minor downpour and hopefully come out on the other end drenched but happy.

Love to ya’ll